It began with my introductory session at a local yoga studio: Dahn Yoga. It was interesting- more of an analysis than an introduction. We began with some ballistic stretching (bouncing in each stretch to reach beyond your typical abilities... not recommended by OCU) and then continued to some balancing exercises. My instructor informed me that because I balanced better with my eyes open, it was a clue that I was externally focused. I'm fairly certain everyone balances better with their eyes open, but I tried to keep an open mind about his analysis.
After balancing, I laid down and concentrated on relaxing and breathing. My shallow and abnormal breathing was a giveaway that my heart chakra is blocked. This was apparently confirmed when Jason checked my internal organs. "And how might someone check your internal organs?" you might ask- with a very strong and sure hand. With each exhalation, Jason shaped his hand into a blade and wriggled it uncomfortably into the depths of my abdomen. I was sure I could feel popping sensations inside each nearly-punctured organ... I guess it was air trapped somewhere beneath the surface. I must say, more than a few doctor's would be impressed at how far Jason's hand traveled without breaking through the skin... He definitely could have wrapped his hand around my stomach or intestines; it reminded me of the scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where some poor schmuck gets his heart ripped out while he's still alive.
After leaving the yoga studio, I decided it was time I search for a part time position to supplement my income. I drove towards the house (jobs that aren't dream jobs have to include minimal commute to be bearable), and stopped at a shopping center near the mall. There is a store called the Vitamin Shoppe that I supposed I could work at with a little pride, so I drove up to park. I passed the store three times before I convinced myself to stop and go in; there was an epic battle going on between my pride and humility. Humility finally won -for the moment- and I walked in with my chin up to ask for an application.
I drove a bit closer to home and entered the same shopping center that I used to serve organic pizza at. I applied humbly at a few restaurants and received some advice to head to the mall, "A few stores are always hiring: Victoria's Secret, Abercrombie, Hollister, the Buckle..." I nodded and thanked the lady at the cupcake shop for her advice before heading to the mall.
My pride is pretty crushed by this point, but I applied at Victoria's Secret and stopped in at the Buckle... I couldn't convince myself to step into the cologne-ridden caves of the other two stores.
On my way out of the mall, I decided to spend my Macy's gift card and was pleasantly surprised to find an all-natural, hand-made cosmetic counter. Well, it was really more of a section of the floor filled with a number of tables and counters than one actual counter, but it was magnificent. The shop inside Macy's was called lush. The lady at the front counter was very accommodating and explained all of their lovely, vegetarian and vegan products. There were huge wheels of natural soap on display that are cut to your needs (I've never seen anything like it). I received a hand-treatment and watched their solid shampoo lather in the water- that's right, solid shampoo. I am sure I sniffed every available scent at least twice. I was so overwhelmed by the diversity of natural products I wanted to try, that I must have spent an hour wandering aimlessly on that small piece of floor. I finally decided on a couple soaps, a solid shampoo bar, and a solid fragrance called "Breath of God." I inquired about a job and went on my merry way... this is a job I think I'd like.
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ReplyDeleteOhh- I forgot to mention the part where Jason asked about my bowel movements soon after introducing himself. :/ Wah wah.
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